Thanks; sleep and the full moon

Wow, y'all ~ just WOW!

My birthday recap was recenty featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom and my traffic has been through. the. roof. since then. I've been stunned by the outpouring of support, and want to take a moment to thank all the new readers, commenters, and those who have taken the time to email me. Thank you so very much! I've been blogging (sporadically, of course, because that is how my life is!) for years, so to have such a sudden influx of new readers was surprising and really, really sweet. I must admit, I was a little freaked at first (what if MY MOM finds this blog? ZOMG! What would she say? What would I say? Would she speak to me ever again?) but then I calmed down. After all, I only wrote the truth, and she can handle the truth, right? Probably not ~ and that's okay, too. I can handle it enough for both of us. ;)

Now, to the full moon. On and off throughout her life, Maddy has had episodes of sleeplessness. Seriously, the child can party like a rock star ~ staying awake for 48 (or more! lots more!) hours, before crashing into a drooling puddle on the floor, surrounded by every toy she owns, snoring lightly and twitching a little bit. We had one of those weekends ~ again ~ this week. They seem to be increasing. This time, those sleepless nights coincide with a huge developmental step ~ Maddy has decided that staying in one spot is for loserz, and since she CAN scoot around on her back, she WILL scoot around on her back ~ all over the house ~ dragging her feeding pump and feeding bag behind her, thank yew verah verah much.

Now, I close her door when I put her to bed at night. Initially, this was strictly for my benefit. It kept the baby monitor from screeching feedback at me all night long. Nowadays, though, it has the extra, added benefit of keeping the child contained in her room. Unfortunately, she now has the darling, charming habit of parking her 55+ pounds in front of the door. There is simply nothing more hilarious to her than watching her plus-sized Mama trying to squeeze through approximately one inch of space between her door and her bookshelf, all the while pleading with her to "PLEASE let Mama in the room, punkin! You need to scoot back!" Seriously, she was laughing at me. Over and over and over again. All night long on Saturday. And Sunday. Of course, during each of these acrobatic attempts, I was also listening to the dadgummed pump, which is beeping every 1.2 seconds and flashing lights at me ~ "NO FLOW OUT". No shit, Sherlock. The 55+ pound child has tied the tubing in a knot, and is resting her weight on it, too, and that is just too much for the pump.

She finally slept last night. Thank you, God! Of course, by "last night" I mean starting at 5:30 in the afternoon, and by "slept" I mean she drooled all over herself and her bed, and that she looked like a tiny dead person ~ eyes open and staring vacantly, mouth ajar, and limbs akimbo. I put her in bed at 7:30, when it was obvious she was not waking up (thank you, God!!!) and let me tell you, wrestling 55+ pounds of dead weight (plus the pump and feeding bag!) down the hall and into bed is no mean feat for me.

Back to the blog title, though ~ we've been monitoring the last several cycles of sleeplessness, and have found that, for the last 4 months, her wakefulness coincides with the full moon. That's it, I am raising a werewolf! She is inhabited by a sleepless monster for the days following the full moon. Strange but true. At first, I thought maybe the light from the moon was keeping my girlie awake, so I added (really ugly, non-matching) "light blocking" curtains to her bedroom window. They didn't help, although they turn her room into a cave. Next remedy? A dose of melatonin each night, starting a few days before the full moon, and continuing for the few days afterwards. No dice. No sleeping. For either of us. Benadryl, which normally renders my child a drooling, sleeping mess? Nope. Just pisses her off. So now what? Any suggestions from y'all? Should I call the doc and ask for a sleeping pill for my 11 year old? lol It doesn't seem to cause her any distress, but I am 40, y'all ~ my years of partying like a rock star are well behind me. I need to sleep! Do you think we could skip the next full moon? I find myself staring at my calendar and refusing to schedule anything around those 4-5 days each month. It's worse than having a period! UGH! (Oh, and I'm expecting that she will start hers in the next year or two, and that the general crankiness will increase exponentially thereafter. What joy. Not.)

Speaking of sleep ~ her nurse just arrived for the day, so I think I will take a nap. Happy Tuesday!